I’m scared. I have been mustering up the courage to admit this fact for a while now, but the time has finally come to let it all out.
September is almost here and so is the date in which I will be leaving my old life behind to begin a new one on the road.
I have been debating for some time how to write about this new transition in my life. I considered writing about how leaving to travel long-term is the best and easiest decision of my life, and why you can and should do it too. I also considered writing about my new found freedom and exhilaration upon getting rid of my possessions and leaving my job to follow my dream.
But none of this would have painted the whole picture, nor told the whole story. So now we’ve come back to what I’m here to admit. The truth is…I’M AFRAID.
Besides the actual fear of leaving everything I know behind, a whole host of new fears have overtaken me in the last few weeks, as the reality that I am leaving soon slowly sinks in. So, as I prepare to travel the world, I thought I’d share with you a list of just some of the things of which I’m terrified.
I’m afraid of…
- Getting sick in a foreign country and not having anyone to take care of me.
- Packing too much stuff.
- Having all my stuff stolen on the road.
- Running out of money and having to return much earlier than planned.
- Getting travel burnout and having to return much earlier than planned.
- Feeling lonely and missing my family and friends way too much.
- Getting abducted by a psychopath couchsurfer.
- Contracting some strange and untreatable illness.
- Getting ripped off by taxi drivers and/or other locals who think I deserve to pay five times the local rate.
- Failing as a travel blogger and coming home to take a job at McDonalds.
So, yes, I’m scared and I think I’ve come to terms with that fact. After all, the decision to quit my job, sell my things, and travel as long as my money permits is a MAJOR LIFE CHANGE. And don’t major life changes come with some degree of angst?
Consider the 45-year-old janitor who quits his job to go back to school in hopes of changing his career, or the 30-year-old obese woman who makes the long-term commitment to eat healthier and exercise every day. These people aren’t so different from me.
Life-changing transitions like these take a certain amount of courage, but they naturally come with fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure.
So I could sit here and preach about how travel is going to be the solution to all my problems or portray a glorified triumph of woman vs. mechanized Western society. But, in the end, this is only a major life change that comes with its share of excitement, joy, sorrow, courage, and FEAR.